Apple never thought this was a journey she would take.

A Duchess. What made her think she could take on such a role? She wasn't sure, but she had asked for it, and after all... if Apricot could do the hard work in being King, then surely, she could support him as a good sister should. She had debated asking to be the Doctor, Avia Juno had taught her well in her childhood.... but she knew she could do more for her littermate, help him, be the start of his council and a shoulder to bear the burden until he found himself a Queen.
She hadn't really envisioned a life outside the Dynasty, either, though. After everything with Grimwald inside the mountain, after Izumi and her people had dragged her from the pits of hell and brought her home, she'd thought she'd waste away on the island just trying to repay that debt. Trying, desperate, to repay the life that had been given for hers, but unable to move past some invisible barrier she couldn't place.
Some very small part of her was glad it had crumbled, that she was free of the reminder -- mostly.
Honoka had followed them, and Apple was grateful someone seemed to believe in the siblings (or perhaps, just had nothing better to do); she didn't really expect anyone from the Fujiwara clan to follow after the Dusk's, but she was thankful. She had been there, that day. It was a smaller, more gentle reminder, but there was a debt there too, one she wasn't sure she could ever repay even without the added weight of throwing her loyalty to them now.
Perhaps she could be compensated with a decent rank on the council. An experienced voice might do them well -- she would speak to Apricot about it later.

It'd been a long week, and what felt like an even longer swim to get to this island. Going around had been an option, sure, but Apple had been excited to check out the place that seemed so removed. Some part of her thought perhaps it would be a nice place to live, but if disaster ever struck for any reason, that was a long, hard swim for youngsters let alone mothers with newborns, the sick or injured, the old.... Perhaps just a neat place to check out, at least. The massive tree there was alluring, mystical, and both drew her in and pushed her away at the same time -- as if she needed a purpose to go there, one she hadn't found yet.
It gave off an odd sort of vibe anyways, she thought as she jaunted across the beach, enjoying the way the sand squished between her toes as she watched the tree in the distance. It was growing late, stormy, dark clouds gathering to cover a sky growing red, and though she'd have liked to really explore her paws hurt and she was tired. She forgot how taxing traveling was, and frankly, she was still a little skinny from her time in the cave. She hadn't left the island chain the Dynasty had resided on since they'd brought her home, and a year stuck inside had taken more than its toll on her.

The golden Dusk gradually halted and stared, ears sliding back slowly at what seemed to be a damn cave tucked into the landscape of the pretty little island. She knew it would be a good place to shelter for the night from the coming rain, but....

She sucked in a slow, deep breath between slightly gaping jaws, and willed her limbs to thaw before the others caught her pre-panic.

Skill: Warrior 1/5

Gone. Scattered. Another attempt, dashed.

She knows she should not linger on it, and so she doesn't. She fights to keep herself from ruminating, from spiraling through the failures. Is she to blame for them? She doesn't think on it. Instead, she follows Apple off the island, knowing there's not much left for her. And she will not keep in a place full of memories.

Apple does not travel far, and Honoka doesn't mind. Honoka's body has become more muscled and trim in the past few months, her hunting and fighting keeping her on her toes. The taste of blood is the one thing that keeps her going. And she will serve as sentry for this, not presuming herself advisor despite her own noble birth. Apple is not Izumi; perhaps this new Lady would need her less. She will not stick her nose where it does not belong.

Or so she tells herself, when Apple stops before the cave.

Honoka can't imagine what it must have been like, those months of torture and experimentation. She knows only her own panic, and she steps forwards to Apple's side, clearing her throat and speaking with less severity in her tone as possible. "Would you like for me to scout the tunnel?"

Their time in the Fujiwara Dynasty felt like a fleeting thing to him. He had never really bonded with anyone there, and it never truly felt like home. So when it was time for them to leave it behind and start anew, Apricot didn't feel a single thing about it. Other then he was ready to move on. But he could tell that it had effected Apple dearly, her mind seemingly preoccupied with thoughts and feelings he might never understand. Though he would do his best to be there for her, after all, they were siblings. Who could understand each other better?

So they struck it out on their own, with a single wolf following him from the Dynasty. She was more then welcomed, of course. It was better to have more pairs of eyes then one. They would be safer then. So the trio took off and swam to an island way far off once they were through most of the southern mainland. They managed to make it to sandy shores, the feeling of the squishy substrate beneath his paws made him smile. A boundless ocean of memories came back to him, only to be interrupted by someone's voice.

Apricot looked up to see Honoka approaching Apple, asking if she should check out the cave just up ahead. What do you think, Apple? Probably should check to make sure it is safe. He walked up to meet Apple's side, pressing gently against her at an attempt to bring her comfort. You okay, sis? Apricot wanted to be there for her, but maybe he should have just given her some space. Confusion and slight worry harbored his mind now, afraid that he might not know what to do for his only family left.

For a moment, it was almost like she was looking at the caves entrance from the inside; remembering the gloomy, oppressive darkness struck through with bold rays of far-off and rudely tempting sunshine, trickling in through what few and tiny holes there were in the ceiling but void of any real warmth. The scars gnarling her shoulders ached all of a sudden, the smell of misery hanging in the stale air a comprehensive mash up of fear, dust, dried old blood, cold stone, and pig.
And, of course, cat.

Apple was still standing there, stuck, when the others joined her; It was obvious she was broken, felt it deep in her soul, and the thought only served to intensify her anxiety evermore. She would never look at the world around her the same way. She would never trust the same, she would never play the same, she could never live the same, knowing such evil existed around the people she loved and threatened to steal their freedom.

'Would you like for me to scout the tunnel?'

Honoka's words cut into her unexpectedly, and Apple's eyes closed in a tiny, nearly imperceptible flinch; a shield, as if she didn't have to look, it wouldn't be real. Apricot asked if she thought it was a good idea, urging Apple back towards normalcy. A part of her wanted to scream that no, absolutely not, Honoka couldn't go into that yawning, black cave all by herself!
But another knew it would make her heart thrum a little less intensely, if only after a few more moments of struggle.

If you don't mind poking your head in, just to make sure its empty, she offered hesitantly, teal gaze sliding open; trying and failing to swallow through unseen tears that hadn't reached her eyes but gripped her airways all the same.

The golden Duchess leaned into her brother, feeling... ashamed. Heavy. Incapable.

Look at me, afraid of a little cave, she whispered under her breath, the tears budding in her eyes. It didn't matter that she'd been through something traumatic, that she'd been hurt, and betrayed, and locked away. It didn't matter that who she thought a friend had turned on her the moment her guard was down, that she'd feel guilt the rest of her life over the one that'd been traded for her freedom.

How am I supposed to be your Duchess, Apricot? Our allies won't be impressed by a coward, and our enemies will think us weak. A Dusk, acting as if she's afraid of the dark.

It wasn't the dark she feared, of course.

It was the monsters that lurked in it's depths, waiting to pounce, to steal away their happiness.

Her pale brows pinched, frustrated, glaring at the ground and grinding her jaws (though she would not let Honoka go into the mouth of the beast without a gaze hot on her back, as if waiting for her to be snatched away inside).